Thursday 15 December 2011

Fog-Murphy Effect!

Fog as I knew had interesting effects on different things…whilst, so far I had known a handful of aspects of it namely that it slows down traffic on a chilly morning and can cause an occasional pile up of vehicles as well as disruptions to airline operations and of course the mysterious aspect of fog we see in Bollywood to depict romance, drama, suspense and horror!!

But then, there are some other aspects of fog that come into play in active collaboration with Murphy’s Law!! For the uninitiated, the Murphy’s Law states, “if anything can go wrong, then, it will go wrong”, and possibly “in the worst possible way” that is, if the circumstances are favorable for it!! And this is what fog delivers – the favorable circumstances for helping Murphy out!

Of all things that fog affects, I forgot that it also had tremendous impact on operations of Indian Railways – so much so that Indian Railways not only stop the trains but also start acting in slow motion.

Now, imagine after a hearty meal arguably at one of the best places a city can offer you look forward to a journey back home in an overnight train on a cold wintery night – the image that it conjures up is one that is of bliss as you would cuddle up on a train’s berth wrapped in a warm blanket with the gentle rocking motion of train journey and the contentment of a hearty meal setting you up for a good sleep! Then, reality dawns at dusk when fog comes climbing down from the heavens and gets into active collaboration with Murphy and conjures up a perfect nightmare, you least imagined! And, the train you were hoping to make your home for the night suddenly disappears in the fog and doesn’t arrive on time and then the fog starts taking its toll on judgment of staff manning the Indian Railways – they decide to announce to public that the delay is for about two hour only and then they do these announcements six times over through the night leading to an overall delay of nine hours!! With the delay announcements coming at regular intervals, your sweet dream of a night turns into a nightmare which is all but over by the end of all the announcements and a new dawn is dawning with the fog still holding fort strongly. With the visibility about three meters, you weigh your options and decide that since the train is not in sight and the dream of a night is lost, you can perhaps take a flight back home knowing well that fog has similar effects on flights as well but hope remains strong as you decide and take the plunge and book the flight forgetting well that Murphy is working overtime to keep you amused! After a sleepless and cold night in a railway waiting room, you decide to take a ride on an auto rickshaw to the airport again in the fog with visibility a tad better at about ten meters! After a numbing cold ride of half an hour or so you reach the airport hoping you quickly get the ticket that was booked and get into the warm environs of the airport, you are again in for surprise as Murphy has taken a fast train to the airport and set the plot for you much to your chagrin. The fog’s effect on railway has had a rub-off on the airport as well – your flight is in the afternoon (as that’s the only flight available to be booked online) and you reach the airline counter with the ticket on your mobile only to find that there is no one manning the counter – then, you go to other airline counters to find the status of their flights – interestingly, there are staff in all airline counters except at the counter of the airline where your ticket is booked!! And by this time, you want to hunt down Murphy before he does further damage!! You decide to take another flight, and of the three other airlines, two are choc-a-bloc and the third one has seats but is not sure whether it will fly and if at all it will, it will be delayed and be airborne only by the time your airline too perhaps will be airborne. So, you decide to wait till the time there is clarity on the new airline’s flight and when it gets clear that this new airline would perhaps fly on time and you decide to buy the ticket, you find out that its sold out!! Murphy, you *&@^##*^!!! Finally, you hang your boots and go back to your airline’s counters hoping to find that it is open now but that’s not to be and after waiting in the cold for good two hours you see some people behind the counter and you try and shout out at them and they indicate from behind two glass walls of the counter in sign language that they do not have the keys to open the counter!! Can you beat that???? Another 20 minutes pass by and someone quietly turns up with the keys and they open the counter and you quickly show the ticket on your mobile (which is by now on the last legs of its battery’s life!!) – they quickly switch on the systems only to realize their network is down and therefore can’t issue a ticket to you! Wow!!! Then, as a afterthought they decide to help you out and give you a handwritten airline ticket – so much for living in the age of technology, you get handed over a parchment with your name and flight number with airline stamp and that’s your new age ticket! You move quickly to the airport entrance only to be stopped again by the security chap who says that you cannot enter the airport as your flight is not on the display screen and you can only enter two hours prior to the flight, which was still two hours away! Woooow!!! You go back to the airline counter and ask for help and thankfully he comes up with a brilliant idea – buy an airport visitor’s pass and along with the ticket you can enter (as otherwise you cannot enter with the baggage) and you finally enter the airport. By now you feel you have landed on the Moon and are triumphantly about to announce to the world, “One small step for the guy who let you in the airport, but a giant leap for you!” What an achievement!! Kudos!!!

Finally, your miseries seem to be over as you head straight to the restaurant to find that there is some free Internet on WiFi on offer at this airport and you get hooked on to it right away, order some coffee (to stay awake!!) and get down with work and penning this piece…its been nearly 16 hours since I landed in Lucknow railway station last night to catch the train and 5 since I reached the airport – though the fog and Murphy have not given up yet (and my flight is still 2 hours away), a good day at the village yesterday (Thawar, 40kms from Lucknow) and the taste of Tunday Kebabs over dinner last night will keep me going I guess!

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