I must put a few things in perspective upfront – I have participated
in Anna’s anti-corruption movement in 2011 and was inspired by the
idealism it espoused and have attended the walks to India Gate, meetings
in Jantar Mantar and Ram Lila maidan over half-a-dozen times.
However, since the split of Anna’s movement and the formation of a political front by Kejriwal to the current situation in Delhi’s political theater as well as AAP’s national aspirations, the above question has intrigued me – and since AAP started cooking its dishes earnestly in Delhi since Dec 28th, it’s "aroma" has reached far and wide and traveled to me too for me to take stock of what’s actually cooking with AAP.
Since the last three weeks or so, there is new dish being served to aam-aadmi of Delhi and also to the nation by AAP ministers and leaders almost on a daily basis – sometimes it’s the “Kejriwal’s U-turn specials” or sometimes it’s “Somnath’s ‘spicy’ histrionics and moronics” or sometimes “Vishwas’ kaali-peeli sabzi” and now “Kejriwal’s anarchist pulao” – each more mouth-watering and delectable than the other!
Of the above delectable dishes,“Kejriwal’s U-turn special” is comparable to the mouth-watering dum-dishes (of dum-aloo, dum-biryani fame) that are cooked over long periods to bring out food's flavors to the fullest and Kejriwal has perfected this art in a way only he could have done – here are some of my hot finger-licking “Kejriwal’s U-turn special” favorites:
Then comes the hot-headed Somnath Bharti’s “Somnath’s ‘spicy’ histrionics and moronics” – and this is equally delectable as “Kejriwal’s U-turn specials” but a lot more hot & spicy, hence, the aam-aadmi trying his hand or shall I say stomach with this, needs to be a bit careful as it sometimes can lead to indigestion, nausea and loosies too just as Bharti’s loose talks and moronic comments and actions. Some of the hottest “Somnath’s ‘spicy’ histrionics and moronics” include the following:
Then there is the eloquent-with-Hindi, Kumar Vishwas – the challenger of Rahul baba in Amethi with his most ‘spicy’ “Vishwas’ kaali-peeli sabzi.” Having seen his description of nurses from Kerala, one wonders how a sexist person like him and one who behaved like a pervert while sharing those views in public got a place within AAP in the first place – or perhaps, this recipe i.e. “Vishwas’ kaali-peeli sabzi” was his qualification to join AAP, as can be seen from Kejriwal’s and Bharti’s delectable recipes that made them so famous! For those would like detailed instructions on this acerbic dish, “Vishwas’ kaali-peeli sabzi”, please see this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngpB_85XZyc. Perhaps, it’s with this recipe in their arsenal, AAP plans to stop crime against women in Delhi and all the way up to Amethi!
And finally, off late, Kejriwal seems to be in a hurry and is forgetting the importance of dum in his special dish and is not applying this technique to the fullest in his recipe, “Kejriwal’s U-turn special” – as you would have noticed with just-ended dharna in Delhi where he threatened to sit-in for 10 days, disrupt the republic day parade and be an anarchist and till yesterday morning claimed that there won’t be any half-measures or climb-down in their demands and therefore the dharna would continue till all their demands were met by the central government just to later on climb down and call off the dharna, the same evening on just the assurances of the Governor for a probe and also sending off two policemen on a short paid-leave! Perhaps, Kejriwal needs sound advice from other members of his party so that he maintains the authenticity and consistency of his cuisine! Or maybe, this is his idea of fast food! For those would like to see the detailed instructions on fast food version of “Kejriwal’s U-turn specials” added to AAP’s menu as “Kejriwal’s anarchist pulao”, please watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjJzNDKcVgs
So, as we can see, AAP is offering the aam-aadmi a diverse menu of delectable dishes to choose from – though the aam-aadmi needs to be prepared to protect his tummy as AAP won’t come to his rescue as they are currently and will continue to be very busy only serving these mouth-watering dishes and not worrying about the consequences of consumption of these dishes on the aam-aadmi!
However, the question that still remains is, “what’s cooking AAP?” – looks like that AAP has too many cooks and as we know, too many cooks end up spoiling the broth! But is AAP even bothered about the broth? Or is it cooking a secret dish using a secret recipe provided by the Congress party and the aam-aadmi is oblivious of the same?
AAP should know that forging a relationship with Congress to form a government with outside support has led the AAP to a point where aam-aadmi is rightly saying, “you can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time” and the aam-aadmi has rightly re-christened AAP to Con-AAP (after their marriage with Congress) and soon the aam-aadmi will ask AAP, AAP-Con (आप कौन)? :)
However, since the split of Anna’s movement and the formation of a political front by Kejriwal to the current situation in Delhi’s political theater as well as AAP’s national aspirations, the above question has intrigued me – and since AAP started cooking its dishes earnestly in Delhi since Dec 28th, it’s "aroma" has reached far and wide and traveled to me too for me to take stock of what’s actually cooking with AAP.
Since the last three weeks or so, there is new dish being served to aam-aadmi of Delhi and also to the nation by AAP ministers and leaders almost on a daily basis – sometimes it’s the “Kejriwal’s U-turn specials” or sometimes it’s “Somnath’s ‘spicy’ histrionics and moronics” or sometimes “Vishwas’ kaali-peeli sabzi” and now “Kejriwal’s anarchist pulao” – each more mouth-watering and delectable than the other!
Of the above delectable dishes,“Kejriwal’s U-turn special” is comparable to the mouth-watering dum-dishes (of dum-aloo, dum-biryani fame) that are cooked over long periods to bring out food's flavors to the fullest and Kejriwal has perfected this art in a way only he could have done – here are some of my hot finger-licking “Kejriwal’s U-turn special” favorites:
- In November 2010 Kejriwal created a potent recipe of this dish when he claimed that he had 370 pages of ‘proof’ on Sheila Dixit government, which per him was enough for filing an FIR against Sheila government but after assuming office on Dec 28th, Kejriwal served his “Kejriwal’s U-turn special” by asking BJP’s Harsh Vadhan to produce the proof and then he’ll take action against Sheila Dixit government in just two hours!
- During campaigning for Delhi assembly elections Kejriwal said he’d never take support nor give support to form a government either with Congress or the BJP. However, on Dec 28th, he again served “Kejriwal’s U-turn special” and accepted “out-side” support of Congress (whom they fought a bitter election with) to form his government.
- In 2011,Kejriwal when under Anna’s “tutelage” claimed that he’d never join politics and hold any post and then, Kejriwal used the momentum of Anna movement to launch his political party and finally grab power in Delhi, all in a matter of three years thereby serving “Kejriwal’s U-turn special” yet again!
- Before elections, he said that an elected representative will continue staying where he was staying before the elections were held and after winning too he would stay at the same place and then when he was being allotted the aam-aadmi 9,000 sq. ft. double-duplex house in central Delhi’s posh locality (far away from the suburbs where he stays), he claimed this residence was identified by the Delhi government, which he seems to have forgotten was run by him only and hence he served “Kejriwal’s U-turn special” yet again! Maybe, he’ll soon sit on a dharna against himself for such ridiculous U-turns!
Then comes the hot-headed Somnath Bharti’s “Somnath’s ‘spicy’ histrionics and moronics” – and this is equally delectable as “Kejriwal’s U-turn specials” but a lot more hot & spicy, hence, the aam-aadmi trying his hand or shall I say stomach with this, needs to be a bit careful as it sometimes can lead to indigestion, nausea and loosies too just as Bharti’s loose talks and moronic comments and actions. Some of the hottest “Somnath’s ‘spicy’ histrionics and moronics” include the following:
- His actions to try and force police to act against certain African residents in his constituency as he suspected them to be running a drug and prostitution ring.
- His gross indiscretion where even though being a law minister, he broke law by naming the Danish rape victim to media – even though this is illegal, Kejriwal did not sit-in dharna against his own minister and instead sat on a dharna to support him!
- His foot-in-mouth habit of spewing racist slurs on the African people living in his constituency and also swearing choicest of slurs on his political and professional peers (Arun Jaitley and Harish Salve respectively).
Then there is the eloquent-with-Hindi, Kumar Vishwas – the challenger of Rahul baba in Amethi with his most ‘spicy’ “Vishwas’ kaali-peeli sabzi.” Having seen his description of nurses from Kerala, one wonders how a sexist person like him and one who behaved like a pervert while sharing those views in public got a place within AAP in the first place – or perhaps, this recipe i.e. “Vishwas’ kaali-peeli sabzi” was his qualification to join AAP, as can be seen from Kejriwal’s and Bharti’s delectable recipes that made them so famous! For those would like detailed instructions on this acerbic dish, “Vishwas’ kaali-peeli sabzi”, please see this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngpB_85XZyc. Perhaps, it’s with this recipe in their arsenal, AAP plans to stop crime against women in Delhi and all the way up to Amethi!
And finally, off late, Kejriwal seems to be in a hurry and is forgetting the importance of dum in his special dish and is not applying this technique to the fullest in his recipe, “Kejriwal’s U-turn special” – as you would have noticed with just-ended dharna in Delhi where he threatened to sit-in for 10 days, disrupt the republic day parade and be an anarchist and till yesterday morning claimed that there won’t be any half-measures or climb-down in their demands and therefore the dharna would continue till all their demands were met by the central government just to later on climb down and call off the dharna, the same evening on just the assurances of the Governor for a probe and also sending off two policemen on a short paid-leave! Perhaps, Kejriwal needs sound advice from other members of his party so that he maintains the authenticity and consistency of his cuisine! Or maybe, this is his idea of fast food! For those would like to see the detailed instructions on fast food version of “Kejriwal’s U-turn specials” added to AAP’s menu as “Kejriwal’s anarchist pulao”, please watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjJzNDKcVgs
So, as we can see, AAP is offering the aam-aadmi a diverse menu of delectable dishes to choose from – though the aam-aadmi needs to be prepared to protect his tummy as AAP won’t come to his rescue as they are currently and will continue to be very busy only serving these mouth-watering dishes and not worrying about the consequences of consumption of these dishes on the aam-aadmi!
However, the question that still remains is, “what’s cooking AAP?” – looks like that AAP has too many cooks and as we know, too many cooks end up spoiling the broth! But is AAP even bothered about the broth? Or is it cooking a secret dish using a secret recipe provided by the Congress party and the aam-aadmi is oblivious of the same?
AAP should know that forging a relationship with Congress to form a government with outside support has led the AAP to a point where aam-aadmi is rightly saying, “you can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time” and the aam-aadmi has rightly re-christened AAP to Con-AAP (after their marriage with Congress) and soon the aam-aadmi will ask AAP, AAP-Con (आप कौन)? :)
